My dad took me swimming a couple of Saturdays ago.   We’d had a stressy morning, and he said “Shall we go swimming? Practice for the Sea”   And so we both went on a hunt for our respective swimming costumes (mine bought at Christmas, his at some point in the mid-nineties, by the […]

when the world burns down and the clouds turns black and the sky turns white and the days turn night Hey, What’s up, Hello It is summer, so exfoliate your feet, buy Ego Death by the Internet, kiss goodbye to monogamy and sit. in. the. sun. life is too short for a good work ethic […]

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Loves of Mine, How are you doing? Have you given up on your new year’s resolution yet? Have you stopped listening to Black Messiah by D’Angelo yet? Have you decided on your 2015 Aesthetic yet? Have you been to a gym and distracted the locals with your wobbly sex appeal? Have you got your […]

Hey. A very sleepy good morning to you, from my bed in Birmingham. I’ma work all day, but I’m not getting out of it, because the weather is horrible outside, and if you’re self employed, and you aren’t taking advantage of the ‘self employed, can work in my pyjamas if I want to’ swag at […]

Eurgh. God, guys! I’m actually going to try and write something and be serious and coherent the whole way through, and not just dick about. I hate doing that. But I need to. I’m in Edinburgh at the moment, with two fold intention. The first is to perform my show, Chewing the Fat, and to […]